~~~~~

I didn’t know people still forwarded email jokes – I guess it’s the kind of thing you get when your social network branches out to people you “used to know.” See previous posts about high school reunions, lowest common denominators and the collision of social circles on the internet.

As dumb as this joke is, and as idiotic as the line is that introduces it, I shall take the last bit of fun from it…

“I’ll keep my God, my freedom, my guns, and my money. You can keep “THE CHANGE”.

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?”

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ….

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right.. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ……….

Now give me back my dog.
—————————

HA! ROFL, right?

#1 – Hey ‘Bud’ – why did you take the bet if “you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked”?
#2 – Hey ‘Bud’ – why did you take a bet that had no upside?
#3 – Hey ‘Bud’ – if you have a sheep farm, why did you concede the bet? The correct answer would have been zero, not 1,586.

No offense meant to any of you hard working citizens out there and no inherent defense offered to any representatives out there, but is there really supposed to be an insult in that joke? Congressman, driving expensive car & expensive suit and yet still managed to get elected… gosh, what an idiot!

…and the intro for this joke: “I’ll keep my God, my freedom, my guns, and my money. You can keep “THE CHANGE”. Change is bad. Very bad. See you at the witch trials!