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I remembered yesterday about an analogy that I made when teaching social networking concepts a few years ago. (Course redux here).

When talking about the point of Twitter and Facebook status updates, I referred to making connections with people through mundane posts – and even if your posts were not individually important, together they establish a persona – and people will folllow that engaging persona #1 because they’re pathetic (haha -kidding, sort of…) and #2 because the time investment is small. And if that persona eventually has something useful to say, people will be listening.

Well, that reminded me of these ads (which I swear were from the 80s and not the 90s, but I’ve already proven I’m old just by remembering them – dwelling on what year it was is one step closer to high-waisted pants.)

A lot of us absolutely hated these ads. But there was genius in them, or I wouldn’t still be talking about them 20 years later. Thirty seconds. Stupid, but continuous storyline. People either loved them or hated them, but talked about them nevertheless.

That’s one way to establish brand recognition. Guess it depends on how low of a price you’re willing to take …

Are you social networking? Man, if you’re not, you’re missing the boat.
Now let’s try substituting words for social networking.
Are you telephoning? Man, if you’re not telephoning, you’re missing the boat.
Are you wearing a nametag? Man, if you’re not wearing a nametag, you’re missing the boat.
Are you using words when you talk? Man, …

Social Networking isn’t a “thing” that you do. Networking is a part of living, part of developing personal and professional connections. Online social networking is one particular avenue for developing networks.

I’m connecting to a lot of noobs lately. And good for them, to be connecting and trying out “this social media thing.” Excitement and enthusiasm are great – but social networking is not a “thing”.

I look forward to when the hype dies and online social networking is just another tool, just another modern convenience – used organically to connect with people regularly, easily. Comparing movie taste with Shane from high school or discovering that you and Monica from your old job have a similar outlook on “The perfect Friday night” is only going to go so far (I give it two more years) before it becomes the next VH-1 retrospective.

And I almost feel sorry already for people whose lives will have an enormous void when Twitter finds its business model is a for-fee usage and 90% of the users drop out. What will they do?!?! How will they communicate and, more importantly, what will they teach to new users?

I don’t want or expect online social networking to go away – because I value it more than the hula hoop, the Lindy hop, the Rubik’s cube. But I fear that its fate will be affected by its length on the hype continuum.

If your business is promoting the use of social networking tools, do us all a solid and quell the hype.

My friend Sharon called Facebook, “An inane diversion of the bourgeoise. I expect Fellini to show up any minute to expose its ridiculousness.” (That’s not a direct quote, but that’s how I remember it.)

As more and more people join Facebook (and, oh god, twitter) worlds collide – and I find myself having to make difficult choices between my professional persona and my personas among close friends, former classmates, acquaintances, neighbors, church people, relatives, … And not only do I have to watch what I say, I have to watch what other people say and post about me and to me. (So no more friend suggestions!)

This form of social networking was fun for me when it was new – fewer people to keep track of, more discussions about the possibilities of its use. Now everyone’s either a self-proclaimed social networking expert or a wide-eyed newbie who loves the way they can dig up old friends…. But then what? Can it last? Not that there’s anything wrong with the world catching on and being better connected; but like anything else, when it goes from being a cult fascination to being the new dance craze, its usefulness diminishes because the pool of participation gets diluted. This is not a new phenomenon. In my lifetime, it’s been CB radios, the internet (before the WWW), chat rooms, message boards, and now “Web2.0”. And as Stu Weibel pointed out, “Social Networking isn’t new; it is what we do as social beings.”

Yes, modern is just old-hat, chromed. (-R. Kidney)

By the way, that quote from Sharon was over a year ago, before the massive adoption by middle class adults.

So as I eagerly await the next technology Wild West, I can’t help but think that it won’t be technology at all. We can connect with people all around the world, and some of us do. But we can also connect locally, and that can be much more satisfying. The pessimism that accompanied the last eight years of U.S. administration fueled the need to think big, connect and seek validation from the safety of our homes. If the world changes in the way I hope it will, people will come back to the public square, roll up their sleeves and make great things happen – together and in person. Ironic that the president that mobilized his campaign through social networking might be the change that renders it “an inane diversion” of the past.

I don’t think electronic social networking will go away, nor should it. But I hope that we’re all able to wake up from the pleasant valley sundaze soon and return our focus to meaningful connections. (… and Facebook, Twitter, et al have certainly enabled those connections to develop.)

In the meantime, I may find myself reading more books and fewer feeds, at home less and in the public square more. Maybe I’ll see you there.

I have recently reconnected with some of my former classmates after 25 years, and it’s been truly a pleasure. Some of the people were friends in school that I’d lost touch with. Some have been people that I, sure, always liked – but didn’t know well. And I really enjoyed catching up with all of those people and hope to continue to see random glimpses into their lives via the ubiquitous status update. Such is the power of electronic social networking; connecting, reconnecting and learning fascinating things about people, old and new. We are connecting as a society like we never have in history, and I am wildly optimistic about how this is/has/will affect our culture.

….but then someone mentioned the class reunion.  

At first, I was sort of interested in the idea. Then I remembered, “I hated high school.” Okay, that’s not really true. High school was fine, although I’d never do it again. And as I thought through it, I made up my own statistics:

Less than 5% of people think they were popular or well-liked in school. (Those were the arrogant pricks and still are. haha.) 7% think they were not well-liked (and probably were not well-liked) and the remaining 87%   don’t know how other people perceived them, but tend to perceive themselves as less popular than they really were.  So 94% of people have some level of self-consciousness about how they were perceived in high school, but only 7% of those people are justified in having those perceptions.   (+/- 1% margin of error.  Hint about making up believable statistics: use prime numbers and include a margin of error)

So my own popularity perceptions rendered unimportant by fake statistics, the reason I’m going to pass on a high school reunion has to do with Eleanor Roosevelt and a bumper sticker. Eleanor said, “Great minds discuss ideas. Mediocre minds discuss things. Small minds discuss people.” The bumper sticker said, “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group.” Not that the people in my high school were stupid, but you get any group of people together that has only a home town in common and the group’s IQ drops to that of the least common denominator. So while I would absolutely LOVE to have dinner and brilliant conversation with any six random people from my high school (or just random people off the street) to talk about ideas, no value will come from 300 people gathering in a room to talk about people and things. The conversation will never get to ideas. And I choose my company these days based on capacity to discuss ideas. (Plus, the geek who wants to talk about ideas at the class reunion is bound to be they guy trapping you in the corner, preventing you from getting another cup of punch and giving a high-five to Schmitty – so you’re welcome.)

Thanks to Facebook (and to a better-marketing-model, worse-business-model extent,  Classmates.com) I can have an online high school reunion the way I want a reunion to be – small, interpersonal and frequent.

Does social networking eliminate the need for in-person meetings?  No – I still prefer to talk with someone in person.  Does social networking eliminate the need for a large gathering of people reminiscing about high school?  Dude – there was never a need for that.

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